The Fistfight - a Short Funny Story for Adults

A Fun drawing I did at this event in Mobile.

It was a normal autumn day much like any other. I had set up my caricature tent under a tree next to a face painter.

We exchanged pleasantries before the onslaught - and we both knew it would be an onslaught, as we had both worked this event the year before.

Thousands of hot, sweaty and impatient people waiting in hour-long lines to get a 2 minute caricature or face paint.

At 1pm they opened the floodgates and we began the marathon.

Drawing live for four hours straight  is difficult enough under normal circumstances. We were also out in the heat on an unseasonably warm day. I was also getting over the flu - solopreneurs can’t affford sick days - and I’d forgotten to bring any water.

So there I was chugging away at my usual rate of about 30 people per hour. (Which is twice as fast as typical caricaturists and a great reason to hire me!)

People were hot and tired and grouchy. Kids were starting to whine, and then cry.

I was thirsty after about an hour. But I kept on plugging, doing my best to field the line and keep my customers happy.

Another hour went by.

We were so busy that there was no one who came around to make sure I was ok. I wasn’t. I was very thirsty. Starting to feel faint.

I silently prayed for someoene to he help me and get me a drink.

Finally in the third hour a akind woman in line sked if I needed anything and I burst out that I was sick and needed something to drink.

This perfect stranger left her kids, got out of line for me, and got me a Gatorade. I’m not sure but I think she probably paid for it.

Grateful, I guzzled it down in no time flat.

That same lady eventually came up in line and she was just lovely. A joy to talk to. A kind soul. She was also a different race than me. Which is one of the things I enjoy about my job. I feel like I’m helping with race relations.

As I was drawing her and her kids I dimly became aware of some sort of hubub behind me in my line.

A couple of adults arguing about something.  Not too loudly, so I chose to ignore it, which is what I do when I’m drawing.

Focus on the people in front of me. Otherwise I get too distracted or even nervous if I see the long line behind me.

I’m going top speed which takes high amounts of concentration. And the hubub in line gets louder.

It started  to enter my consciousness that they’re arguing about who was next in line. One woman started dropping the F bomb - in front of a line full of little children!

Really? I thought. You’ll all get drawn. Stop acting like kids. I didn’t say that though. What I said was

“Please guys. I’m sorry I can’t keep track of who is next in line. Everyone will get drawn.”

“You good,” the women arguing both said and stepped back in that southern way people do here, raising their hands as though in surrender.

I thought that was the end of it.

But when the lady I was drawing got up, there was suddenly a mad scramble, like a game of musical chairs, except it was grown adults lunging for my open chair, pushing the nice lady out of the way, shoving each other and even their own children out of the way!

Elbows and knees went flying and my chair lurched so that I was afraid it would fold in on someone.

It all happened exceedingly fast, and I didn’t even have time to think before I bellowed out, in my typical mom-of-two-teenaged-boys -fashion, straight from the diaphragm,

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

Now I have never in my 25 years of drawing live used THAT voice on a customer, and I kind of shocked myself.

But what surprised me even more is that despite that authoritative yawp, the tussle continued!

I stood up and said loudly

“I guess I’m gonna have to get security!”

They continued fighting over my chair - so I stood up and ran out into the aisle, yelling for security!

Nobody was there of course. At this kind of event they never seem to have security. The events where they’re needed most.

But regardless,  I yelled and waved my arms around like a fool for about a minute, putting on a good show for the two grown women who still had some serious growing up to do.

When I turned around, a young lady of about 12 was seated demurely in my chair.

The fight had stopped as fast as it had started. The lady who had been swearing and fuming had ceased and was as quiet as a kitten.

The one who got me the Gatorade whispered to me that the girl in the chair had been next in line.

So I sat down and drew her.

Then I drew the next little girl.

They both got done. And they left. And that was that

All that nonsense for nothing.

They left, and I continued my job until the end of the day when I packed up and left, the field strewn with Gatorade bottles and all kinds of other nasty debris.

I have never seen anything like that before, And I hope I never do again.

25 years of drawing caricatures professionally and I haver never had people literally fioghting like in a movie on tv in my line.

I Think the biggest problem in our society is selfishness. It’s encouraged by corporations, tv, and now society itself.

Common decency isn’t common anymore.  It’s uncommon. All people think about is themselves. It’s every man for himself.

And when that happens… we are all in deep deep trouble.

Many Thanks to the lady who brought me a drink. 🥃 a cup of cold water. You won’t lose your reward.

Stay tuned for the next installment of … short funny stories for adults from the caricature trenches!

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Hi my name is kathy buskett. I’m a gulf coast caricaturist with 25 years of experience working at all kinds of events from weddings to corporate events to live public events where I have to break up street brawls 😂

If you’d like me to come draw at an event, you can check out the rest of my website here www.caricaturesbykathy.com

Or you can contact me at kathybuskett@gmail.com and see if your date is available

I promise I won’t yell at you 😂